For me as a fiction writer, writing is more of a compulsion than a choice, something I have to do in order to keep my sanity, empty my head of monsters, and relive some of the wonderful memories I've had in my life. For my husband, well that’s another story altogether. He’s had little to no choice in this journey I feel I need to take, and he must simply hold on tight in the speeding passenger seat.
So what’s it like being married to this author? A rollercoaster. There are really four different classifications of days; blogging and reviewing, upkeep writing, flow, and plotting and planning. Each of these days come with their own struggles and rewards for both me and the hubs.
Most days I can get a few things written with ease just by sitting down in front of my computer and applying a little focus as if it were lipbalm. Those days are when I work on blog posts and book reviews. Even before I was writing I was a reader, and thankfully so is my husband. At least five days out of seven we are reading together, or I’m reading while he’s playing a game (he’s a game designer, shameless plug). So there’s zero resentment when I want to spend my night with a new book boyfriend, he’ll most likely be in another world battling evil anyway. When it comes to the actual writing of the posts, I’m pretty self sufficient. I can sit down and transfer my notes into mostly clear paragraphs and then into full posts. Hubs supports by pre-reading and doing a quick pass of editing, of which I am eternally grateful.
My upkeep writing days are when I work on quick writes similar to doing a few push ups before bed or washing my makeup off; it’s good for my health so I try to make it a habit. These is where the Fiction Friday content comes from, for the most part. These are also the days when I sit down to work on an in progress manuscript and achieve progress, but nothing that makes me want to shout from the rooftops. These days I lean on my friends and husband quite a bit. They help provide me with writing prompts, talk me through scenes that are giving me trouble, and cheer me on in cute skirts (okay skirts optional). Hubs has also admitted to seeing me get “the look” and knowing to get out of my hair and let me work.
Flow days. These are the days I live for. Hours upon hours of uninterrupted writing where my fingers speed over the keys and the words simply fall out of my head and onto the page. When I have been seen worthy by the muses for this run of good fortune, the easiest way to help me is to ignore me, well that and keep me fed and hydrated. After close to ten thousand words written, then I become a rambling nut case and good luck to those around me. Like a kid on Christmas morning I’m full of energy and want to only talk about how my imaginary friends have been and share our latest adventures with anyone who will listen. Insert hubs here. He’s great at helping me talk through what’s going on in my head and directing me when I need that extra nudge.
Last but not least there are the plotting and planning days. These discussions are really spread throughout the other days as well, but on longer stints of writing breaks they can become their own sort of sub category. Just because I’m not writing does not mean I am not out having adventures with my characters. Going to the local coffee shop and sitting and people watching can spark inspiration that I never expected, then I come home and gush about them with my husband. What would he think if Onnie went here, or if Gabriel wore this kind of coat, or deeper discussion on a book I finished and am working on a review for. Some people sing in the shower… I talk, and more often than not I end up getting out of the shower and can’t wait to get in front of a computer to get the new ideas down. Like a dog with a bone who just won’t wet go, there are days when I’m sure hubs wishes I talked less about imaginary adventures and more about real life, but he’s never not supportive. Our conversations have helped fuel many a plot point, and work out what feels most natural scenes when I find myself stuck.
My relationship with writing is a complex, with good days and bad ones just like any other marriage, but my husband’s relationship with my writing… well that can only be described as supportive.
How do your friends and family support you with your passion projects?
Share your experiences in the comments below.