My last blog post touched on why I've been gone for a while; depression and anxiety. Now that the holidays are over I talk a bit more about my struggles and depression as a whole. I also talk about my plan for my Patreon page in 2017 and its sun-setting plan. Lastly, we talk everybody's favorite pass-time; BOOKS!
I guess the title of this post is a bit misleading; I was in fact diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety, but hey who’s counting. So yup, there it is the big elephant in my life right now. I’m not ashamed of it, nor am I hiding it, but until now very few people knew about it. That was my choice as I wanted to have something to say beyond woe is me; I wanted to tell you what I was going to do to beat it. I don’t have “shout it from the rooftops” news yet, but I am doing better. The shear fact that I can write this is proof of that.
Depending on how long you’ve been following my adventures, you know that before about April of 2016 I was a structured blogging machine. I had anywhere from 3-5 new content posts a week, book review, new fictions, blogs, and managed to write two novels. Since April, I’ve barely been able to check my twitter. I forced myself to post JUST ONE blog a month, but even that felt like trying to dig my way to the center of the earth with a plastic spork. If you’ve never suffered from depression that may sound dramatic to you, but I assure you it’s not meant to be. One of my most challenging issues is apathy. I just couldn’t make myself care. About anything. I didn’t want to go to work, I didn’t wash dishes, I didn’t brush my hair, and I didn’t even want to veg out and watch tv. I wanted to do nothing. I get home and put on my pajamas and crawl into bed, most of the time without food.
Anyway, I’m not here to tell you how horrible the past year has been, let’s face it, 2016 pretty much sucked for everyone. I just wanted to let you know I am in multiple types of counseling, taking medication, thinking positive thoughts, and doing everything I can to get my life back. I have a few goals for the year, but the biggest and most important one is that I want to have something ready to query by the end of the year. YES, twelve months is a LONG time, and most people could probably do it quicker. This year, I just want to do it. Next year we can work on speed improvements.
From time to time, I may give you updates on how I’m doing and if I’ve found something that works or doesn’t, not for me, but for others. Mental illness is not something to be ashamed about. No longer should people think they are “crazy” or “weak” you’re not. It’s purely brain chemistry. If anyone would like to talk further on this topic or any others, you can reach me on many social media platforms, in the comments below, and on the about me page you and privately message me if you’d rather some anonymity. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Please know that I love you Adventurers and I wish you a safe and happy 2017!