It’s time for me to update you on a few things. As you probably remember, the last year I have been struggling with depression and anxiety. In November, I added medication to my therapy treatment. A few weeks ago, I also added light therapy, more on that later. I want to give an update on how my treatment is going in the hopes that I can help others and get the conversation out there because keeping quiet about depression helps no one.
So, part one is therapy. Sadly, my therapist for the past year closed her practice last week. It was… unexpected and I’ll be honest, crippling. I have a lot of history to share, and we had only started. She had lined up a new therapist for me to try in the next few weeks, but it’s a daunting task to start fresh again. I posted about it, in shock, on the day I found out, and I was shocked to see how many people spoke up in support. People private messaged me, gave me suggestions, and others posted right on my wall how they felt and how I could potentially bounce back. I was amazing and proved to me that keeping quiet is not the answer.
Augmenting my morning light therapy with some manuscript editing. I now have a prescribed 30 minutes of early morning, alone, quiet time. I see a lot more writing, editing, and reading in my future.
I've recently started doing ballet to get myself moving. I'm still a total noob, but I am in love with it. My Instagram has a ton of pictures if you're interested.
Part two is medication. Another batch of not so good news. So far, nothing is working for the depression; however, the second medicine I am taking for extra energy and to combat the apathy that comes with my sickness is working well. I won’t lie to you and tell you that I am staying positive that we will find something that works and everything will be rainbows and unicorns. I’m not. I’m discouraged and feeling hopeless, and depressed (duh). My psychiatrist is still working to find something that works, so I’m continuing to trust her. I’ll keep you updated.
Finally, some good news! It was suggested that I start light therapy. I have a very high lux lamp that I get up early (ugg) and sit and read/edit in front of for thirty minutes before work every day. It’s been a few weeks, and I have to say, I am really happy with the progress. The light combined with the apathy medication has made it possible for me to participate (and kick butt) in this April’s Camp NaNoWriMo. It’s been a year since I’ve been able to engage positively and that I can is a HUGE step.
Overall, some good, some bad, but I’m still trying. I hope all of your lives are going brilliantly and I can’t wait to hear from you. As always, if you want to talk, please don’t hesitate to do so. Comments, Twitter, email, whatever it is that you’re comfortable.